My Life and Karate, Day Twelve

My dojo, Sun Dragon Martial Arts and Self Defense, is running its major yearly fundraiser. We're a nonprofit martial arts studio, which is something of a rare beast, and we raise money every year for our scholarship fund and the free self-defense classes we offer in the community. For my part, every day until the day of the Kickathon, I will write a random amusing anecdote about karate and self-defense - enjoy!

The other obvious 80s influence in my interest in martial arts (and my interest in silly headgear) is The Karate Kid. This one had some unfortunate side effects.

My regular after-school babysitter, Heather, was my favorite, largely because she put up with nearly all of my more rambunctious ideas. Every so often, if I hadn't exhausted her yet, we'd go into the living room and move everything breakable away, and we'd... well, I'd say we sparred if I had known what I was doing - and if she was doing anything other than humoring me. Sometimes she'd teach me a little tumbling, but mostly I tried to hit her and she tried not to wince when I did.

Anyway, after seeing The Karate Kid I was inspired. I asked Heather if I could try out the crane kick that looked so cool when performed on a pole on the beach at sunrise. She said, sure, go ahead. So I hoisted one knee up, got my balance, jumped, and kicked my poor babysitter right square in the crotch. She dropped like a rock.

I've never gotten kicked solidly in the groin like that, but if Heather's whimpers were anything to go by, it hurts quite a bit, even for women. She stayed in the fetal position for a good three or four minutes, and when she finally uncurled, I knew playtime was over. But I also knew something more important - the movie was right! That move WORKED.

It's always amused me that when setting a pick in basketball, women stand with their arms crossed over their chest, and men cross their hands over their crotch. Priorities, I guess. Won't you please donate $5 to our fundraiser? I won't threaten to kick you in the crotch if you don't, but you know, I could...